The fact that I’ll be living on my own in less than a month has made me seriously think about what makes me happy, both big and little things. I’ve realized that family, both biological and otherwise, is so so important to happiness.
Today I had plans to go on a date with a guy I’ve seen before, which was cancelled before I even got off work. I don’t blame him, things come up. So I refocused and decided to make a dent in the layers of stuff in my childhood bedroom, in preparation for the big move. I find myself having a little trouble letting go of things with memories attached to them, but then I remind myself that the memories themselves will always be there, until I get Alzheimer’s of course.
Now, I’m going to be honest here, I cried a lot. I have every single yearbook from 4th grade through High School. But what really did it was the little notes written by grandparents and relatives that have since passed away. My grandparents on my father’s side are both still alive and in decent health I can’t imagine life without them. To think that my sweet, but crazy, Southern grandfather will possibly have to live without my ridiculous, but necessary, grandmother (or the other way around) breaks my heart. Because, really, we don’t know what that is like.
Back to the happiness part. I started a list on my laptop of things that make me happy, and it ranges from ridiculous and materialistic to the presence of people that have made me into the human that I am now. Here are a few examples from my list, hope it inspires you to start your own.
- Merlot. Bread. Cheese. Garlic. Olives. French Macarons. Enjoyed alone or with good company, I don’t think that anyone can argue with this. While I am all about living healthy, working out and eating well, I also believe in a little indulgence. And I also believe that these items, and anything chocolate, can put a patch over almost any wound.
- Any book that I can lose myself in. It’s good to curl up and become absorbed in pages.
- Paddleboarding and hiking. Nature, bitches. Put the smartphone down and look around you.
- Fluffy garden roses, peonies, and dahlias. All of these remind me of growing up with my late grandparents and my great aunt and uncle. Their gardens were well tended and full, and they were always willing to let my 4-year-old self “help.”
- Apricots. My dad calls them old ladies butts.
- Red lipstick. It works wonders for confidence, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t turn heads. But I wear it for myself, because there is no other better color.
- Country Music. I grew up with Shania Twain, the Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith. It was my parents’ answer to the hip hop phase.
- My littlest cousin’s laughter as he runs through our 4-generations-strong family home.
- My grandparent’s bickering. They’ve been together over 60 years, still amazes me that they put up with each other. Now, that is some serious love.
Change Clara 